Tinsel Town Parent Guide

The improbably named Brad Mack (Kiefer Sutherland) built his career on the hugely popular Killing Time action movie franchise. Now that the studio has pulled the plug on further sequels, Brad’s reputation as a difficult, work-shy narcissist doesn’t endear him to casting agents. His own agent (Katherine Ryan) hates him, which is why she told him his career would benefit from some “theatre in England”. Naturally, Brad assumed this would be a prestigious role as Macbeth at Shakespeare’s Globe; what it actually means is the Christmas pantomime performance of Cinderella in a small town in Yorkshire.

Much as he’d like to get on the first plane back to L.A., Brad is stuck. His agent made sure his contract included a clause which would allow the town to sue him for lost revenue if he backs out, and since the Christmas pantomime usually covers the theater’s annual budget, that amount would be in the millions of pounds – a little more than the fiscally irresponsible Brad has in his checking account. It also means that he’s out of excuses to keep avoiding his daughter, Emma (Matilda Firth) and ex-wife Grace (Alice Eve), who live nearby.

I should warn you in advance that Tinsel Town isn’t actually very good – the performances are all well over-the-top, the plot is utterly predictable, and the Christmas music in the soundtrack made me consider ramming my pen through my eardrum. Counterintuitively, the film manages to be kind of fun. The show never takes itself seriously, and the mad abandon displayed by the cast is actually quite fitting for the mercury-huffing lunacy that is an English Christmas panto. It’s almost worth watching this odd little film just to see Kiefer Sutherland in his costume.

Family audiences can expect a few bumps in the road - some violence here, some innuendo there, but the biggest issue is likely to be heavy alcohol consumption. Nearly every social event is soaked with booze, and at one point Brad is nearly black-out drunk. He does learn a lesson about alcohol consumption, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen this much drinking in a “family” film.

Although this film paints relentlessly inside the lines and offers almost nothing new to the generic Christmas comedy, it’s so well-paced and utterly surreal that, if you truly have nothing better to do, it’s almost worth watching for spectacle alone. I can’t say I’d recommend it, but it’s a little like watching a train crash through a Christmas market - loud, colorful, messy, and extremely chaotic (but fortunately less dangerous).